postheadericon 5 Things You Can Do When Your Teen Daughter Catches Her Boyfriend Cheating

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5 Things You Can Do When Your Teen Daughter Catches Her Boyfriend Cheating

As parents, we never want to see our children suffer, particularly at the hands of a cheating boyfriend. But, what should you do if your teenage daughter finds out that her boyfriend is or has been cheating on her?

During the teen years, everything that goes happens or goes wrong seems like it is the end of the world, so expect some overreaction from your teen. As much as we want to fix everything for them, healing a broken heart is a task that can be hard to accomplish. With that said there are a few ways, five ways to be exact, that you can help your daughter overcome without being too intrusive.

1 – Be a Source of Comfort

What you will want to do is be a shoulder for her to cry on. Also, have an ear ready to listen. Your daughter may or may not want to open up to you about her feelings and experiences right away, but be ready for when she is. It is also important to never underestimate the power of a simple hug, as just a hug from mom or dad can help to improve so much.

2 – Give Your Daughter Space and Time

What it is important to remember about teenage relationships is that many teens think they are serious, even if the relationship only lasted a few days. Many teens believe that their boyfriends are “the one.” No matter how short or long your daughter’s relationship was, do not expect her to get over him overnight. Also, do not try to over schedule what you believe to be fun and exciting family time. Your daughter will cope at her own pace. She may just need to be alone for a while to process her thoughts and feelings.

3 – Let Your Daughter Know You Understand

Validation is important for many teens who experience cheating or the end of a relationship. Letting your daughter know that you understand what she is going through and how much it hurts is important for her to hear. Remind your daughter that although you understand her hurt and pain, it will improve overtime. Just be cautious with your approach, as you will not want to go overboard. Now may not be the time to toss out the common “there is other fish in the sea,” line.

4 – Avoid Making Comparisons

Since cheating is becoming somewhat of a common occurrence, there is a chance that you may have experienced the same problem and emotions. Even if you have, it is important to not compare her situation to yours. Your daughter’s situation should be treated with uniqueness. Plus, a comparison may make your daughter feel as if you are trying to diminish her pain or draw attention away from her needs.

5 – Don’t Let Her Shut Down Completely

As previously stated, it is important to give your daughter the space and time that she needs to cope with a cheating boyfriend or the end of her relationship, but don’t allow her to shut out the whole world. Avoiding school and peers that know, may be a goal of hers, but do not allow your daughter’s fear or embarrassment have a negative impact on her life. Instead, encourage her to spend time with her friends, namely those who love and support her and will provide encouragement, regardless of the situation.

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2 Responses to “5 Things You Can Do When Your Teen Daughter Catches Her Boyfriend Cheating”

  • John G:

    Hi, recently I’ve noticed strange behavior in my daughter. She just turned 17 in August. She had broken up with her boyfriend of a little under two years, about two months before her birthday. Much to my surprise, she seemed completely not phased by the whole ordeal. She apparently broke up with him after a rift, and them mutually cheating on each other (teen drama, huh?). I know for a fact, that they were having sex, as she came to me about birth control when she was 15, probably 4-5 months into their dating (and while it made me uneasy, she’s an extremely bright girl for her age, we’ve known the boy since they were in kindergarten due to them going to grade school together, and I appreciated that she came to me). We have a very close relationship, but as mother and daughter, not as friends. She knows she can come to me about anything, but that doesn’t mean she will, and I, being a psychologist, tend to see shifts in her mood that create an urge to ask her what’s wrong. Back to the problem, while I would not say I’m naive as a parent, she could do a very well at making it seem so. She’s very sneaky, and has a very (unfortunate for me)way of telling the truth but being able to bend and twist it and everything, so confusing. She’s rather very popular, has always had lots of friends even as a child(and always been boy crazy), and she’s got a very confident, quick personality. And as bizarre as this may sound she’s also, to my husband and I’s dismay, very beautiful and what people consider “hot” and you know, has the “body”, so boys have been around since I can remember (and hey, I’m not that old, :]). What bothers me, is she seems a bit distant, she’s been sneaking out of the house past her curfew (and she’s pretty out of control with that, as even if she’s grounded under stern conditions, she still leaves, she has no limits). I’ve caught her intoxicated, which also resulted in punishment. I’m pretty positive she’s also sneaking boys into her room EVEN when we’re there. She has a very innocently manipulative way with her, and we’ve even walked in on her with a boy both half naked in the process of making out, I’ve never seen a boy head for his shirt so fast. I’m concerned with the fact, that since she’s broken up with her boyfriend, that she’s had multiple partners since then. She is definitely someone I can see with a (forgive the ridiculous comparison) “Madonna” type stance on sexuality, despite knowing it would make us very unhappy. I’ve asked her about it, each time it results in her blushing and the “MOM!” sneer look on her face. So it’s very difficult, she’s very difficult to punish. She’s STILL on birth control even after having been broken up with her boyfriend, and has never said anything about coming off of it. She shows all the signs of sexual activity in a teen, except she’s definitely not all phased upon the fact that she seems ‘talk’ to numerous boys like she’s interested in a relationship, when it probably should phase her as the boys have no idea they aren’t the only ones. She brings different boys over all the time (SUPERVISED!), and is very flirty. This also makes me worry about her reputation. Help?! I know I should be happy she’s usually open with me, and that she came to me when she started having sex, etc., but this is very worrying to me… the fact that it’s extremely hard to punish her AND the chance of there being different sex partners.

  • happyha31:

    My friend is 20 and her boyfriend (let’s just say his name is Kyle) is 24. They have a six month daughter and are living together in his parents’ basement.

    Kyle is a total douche. My friend recently found out from several old co-workers that he cheats non-stop (even while she was pregnant for him) and is always trying to get other girls to have sex with him. He was even charged for bribing an employee to have sex with him for a raise (before he started dating my friend). ALSO, he wouldn’t even go to the hospital when my friend was in labour because he apparently couldn’t leave work…He’s only a manager at McDonald’s. I’m sure he could have went home early.

    Long story short, he’s a manager at McDonald’s and was apparently on a one week “business trip” to another province with all of the other McDonald’s managers. Do McDonald’s managers go on week long business trips to other provinces though? I worked at McDonald’s in my teens and I don’t remember any of the managers doing things like that.

    Do you think he really was on a business trip? If not, how could my friend be so naive?

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